All Is Forgiven But Not Forgotten
The major attraction was not the food but the two pinball machines that kept us occupied (and spending our money) on the colder days after school.
The owner (who I will call Max) didn’t mind us hanging around, even after we all spent our daily or weekly allowances. He was quite tolerant towards us rowdy teenagers. He was ok and I actually got along with him ,for an old guy.
I wouldn’t go as far as saying we were friends but I enjoyed being around him as he had some funny stories about the ‘old country’. One day we had a disagreement about something. I can’t remember but I was upset by it and stormed out of the place.
To say the least I had a temper on me. I remember one time I got mad at my sister (who is eight years older than me), I was probably about ten years old or so. I picked up a poker, a proper steel one with a tip that looked like an arrow-head. I chased her down the hallway with the weapon above my head ready to strike. She made it into the bathroom locked the door but that didn’t stop me. I pounded the door that resulted in large holes before I came to my senses. Yeah, I really needed Jesus.
Back to my story, I walked out of Max’s store in a huff. A few nights later under the cloud of darkness I made my way to Max’s store and planted myself in an alley way across the street waiting for him to close up shop. When the time was right and no one around, I pulled a rock the size of a tennis ball out of my pocket and let fly. Smash, his store front window destroyed in one single act of lunacy.
I waited a few days and made my way back to Max’s and acted like nothing happened. He was still waiting for the glass men to come and fix the window as it was boarded up and I could see the frustration on his face. To this day I am not sure if he had his suspicions it was me. If he did he didn’t show it. I went on with life as if nothing ever happened.
When I came to Jesus, I was taught that He forgave us for all our sins, past, present and future. Thank God because my list was so long it would take me an eternity to right each wrong. In the time it took to surrender my will, my life and my heart to God all my wrongdoing were wiped away. In an instant, in the blink of an eye. Never to be remembered again, by God that is. Whew….
As time passed by there was still certain events in my life that would pop into my mind from time to time from my past that would make me cringe. I knew I was forgiven for these misdeeds but they seemed to come up every once in a while.
Giving the subject more thought I came to the conclusion that although our sins are forgiven our slates wiped clean forever then why do they come back to haunt us.
My take on it is this. They are like scars that are with us while we are still here on earth. A reminder of what we were like before our transformation. A reminder of what God sacrificed himself by giving us his only begotten son, Jesus. The scars will remain and when we look at them (we remember the incidents) it will be a constant reminder of what we were like before we gave our lives to God.
Oh how I would have loved to right some of these wrongs. To come face to face with Max and tell him what happened to his window and how sorry I am and ask for his forgiveness. Well, I think Max already knows and I think that someday after I have clocked out of this world I just might get that opportunity.
So, lets not beat ourselves up over our past but look on these times when we are reminded of certain memories that seem to linger in our hearts and minds that they are what they are.
Scars from our past that remind us of who we were, not who we are now.
- “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV)