To My Son After His Wedding Day
Words can’t do the subject justice in describing how well thought out, creative and organized your DIY wedding day went.
The beautifully set private country grounds was perfect.The relatively small but intimate wedding ceremony to the short walk up the lush carpet like grass to the two outdoor marquees backed onto the refurbished shed with the bar, dance floor, wedding cake & Mason, the one man band.
Well done to the two of you and all those that helped you bring it all together.
On arriving you told us our part in this whole thing. Sit in the front row, with your two beautiful children, Emma and Jonah.
As we all found our seats waiting for the bride to arrive, you were at the altar (for lack of a better word), you were nervously waiting trying to keep your mind and body functioning. I noticed you started smacking your lips as we do when when our mouths are running out of spit. I thought your lips would superglue themselves together at any moment causing you to have to write out ‘I do’ at the appropriate time.
I was tempted to jump out of my seat and let you know I had a car waiting just in case you were looking for a way out. I then thought of the open bar.
I kept my seat.
I was impressed and moved on many levels Daniel, but the exchanging of your wedding vows was my favorite. As you tried to read from your prepared speech that you have been working on for months, I thought your best man may have to step in and read it for you.
Your voice was starting to crack, your emotions were getting away from you resulting in a tear drop, although you tried to hide the evidence by turning your head away from prying eyes. I am sure you will deny this unless there is physical evidence of such. I reached for the tissue box sitting on mums lap taking one to dab my eyes in a show of solidarity.
Natasha’s vows were as thoughtful and personal as ever I heard even though the written word in her hands were rarely looked at. The words ran off her lips so naturally as she was full of her subject matter, you. Another tear or two was noted. By the end of the vows my pockets were full of wet and soiled tissues.
The Sand Ceremony following with Emma & Jonah symbolizing the uniting of the four of you to one family was too much for your old man. I sent out for another box of tissues.
Somehow I made it to the end of the ceremony in one piece and was sure your cool, calm and collected mother sitting next to me was about to tell me to man up or go home.
As the evening moved on, the music played, dance shoes moved to the rhythm of the music and the bar was getting a good work out.
It was time to for a few speeches.
When you asked me months earlier if I could speak at your wedding I was honored. Up until the week before the wedding I had included what I thought could be some valuable marriage advice. But my gut told me to leave out any Dr Phil words of wisdom.
I am sure you will learn as you go as we all have done but to possibly help make your learning experience somewhat easier I will leave you with this advice that has helped me through many difficult times.
Learn to say ‘I’m sorry’.
When you get into an argument and feathers are ruffled, feelings are hurt and a cold war is brewing. Be the man and say I’m sorry.
When you have clearly made a boo – boo and you try to defend yourself that results in hurt feelings and unkind words say I’m sorry.
When she unwittingly offends your manly pride and an argument ensues, harsh words flung about like hash browns in a busy cafe say I’m sorry.
When you know you are right and defend your honour to the death , come back and say I’m sorry.
If nothing else these two magic words could save you from long lonely nights on the couch.
And for God’s sake son, if you leave the toilet seat down and she lets you know about it. Forget the apology. Bring home flowers.
And when she asks if the new dress she is wearing makes her bottom look big, OMG, bite your tongue…. until it bleeds.
But if all the above fails remember this, “Chocolate says “I’m sorry” so much better than words.” (Rachel Vincent)
much love and congratulations son,